Leo Apotheker Tries To Spend Severance Pay On Enron Stock

After receiving $25 million following his termination as the CEO of Hewlett-Packard, it is rumored that Leo Apotheker attempted to invest some of the money in Enron, only to discover that the corporation had imploded. We met Mr. Apotheker at his old office in Palo Alto to find him literally clearing out his desk.

"I kind of liked Enron," Mr. Apotheker told us. "Ken was a bro, you know what I'm saying? I always trusted him even though I had no idea what his company even did!"

Leo Apotheker Learns The Hard Way Never To Say "HP-Ness"

At a press conference on Thursday, HP CEO Leo Apotheker learned that while there are many possible words that could have been successfully used to denote ‘a quality possessed exclusively by HP products’, the term “HP-ness” was unfortunately not one of them.
“What our our shareholders need to understand is that HP’s devices are special not only because of their superior design, usability and cutting-edge components, they also have this special quality of their own, this... HP-ness.”
Apotheker seemed unaware of his gaffe until he noticed the board of directors giggling, at which point he switched his teleprompter back on and began to announce HP’s imminent future plans, which involved discontinuing webOS software, selling HP’s PC division to Dell, purchasing MySpace, and finally building a giant raft out of $100 bills, loading it up with shareholders, setting it on fire and sending it off into the Pacific ocean.

webOS 1.6.0 pushed to legacy devices, promising “performance enhancements and permanent destruction”.

For the first time in months, an over-the-air update has been pushed to legacy devices, updating anything previously running webOS 1.4.5 to webOS 1.6.0. Officially, it provides the following upgrades: “miscellaneous performance enhancements and permanent destruction.”
We downloaded the update as soon as it was available and put it through its paces right away. Read on to see what we found.

On Fake PreCentral and piracy

Hey, it's that website with four posts that aren't very funny! It updated! Maybe it'll be some vicious, slapdash satire of the mobile operating system I've come to know and love!

Oh, it's a serious post. Never mind.

In any case, I'm just going to blather on about the state of this blog and its content, so if you're expecting some dumb comment about Leo Apotheker's butt... sorry.

Actually, I now have an idea for my next post.

Google announces plans to purchase Motorola Mobility

Rebecca Black Endorses TouchPad In Latest Ad

Well folks, it looks like HP has added another name to its arsenal of big-name endorsements, which currently includes Russell Brand, Miranda Cosgrove, Lea Michele, and Manny Pacquiao. It's Rebecca Black!

Best known for her March viral hit "Friday", Miss Black is one of the first of the new wave of young celebrities hired to promote the TouchPad. Her video includes her singing and dancing about the merits of the HP TouchPad, emphasizing its calendar abilities.

"Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards," she sings. "And it syncs with Google and Yahoo calendars!"

HP Delivers on TouchPad OTA Promise, Shocks webOS Users

History was made today as HP kept its promise to deliver an update over-the-air update for webOS 3.0 on the TouchPad.

TouchPad users everywhere rejoiced as the promised update was delivered.

Michael Sanchez, owner of a TouchPad since its release date, was "stunned beyond belief" when he saw the notification indicating the availability of webOS 3.0.2.

"You know, I've owned a Pre since the day it came out on Sprint. Switched to Verizon to get the Pre Plus, then upgraded to the Pre 2 when it came out."

"I got updates for my Sprint Pre until last summer, then they stopped. After it became clear that I wasn't getting webOS 2, I bought the Pre 2. webOS 2.1 has been out in Europe for months, but I only just got the update a few weeks ago. Naturally, I was a little skeptical about updates arriving in a timely fashion. When I saw that this most recent update had actually arrived as promised, though, I swear I cried with joy."

HP Sets Date for Veer Apathy Day

      After under three months on the market, we finally have a hard date for complete and utter disinterest in the Veer from HP: October 17th.

      The Veer launched in May to lukewarm reviews and fierce defense from the webOS community. Major subjects of complaint concerning the device included its minuscule screen, mediocre camera, its misleading advertising regarding '4G' connectivity, its lack of support for threaded messaging, the non-standard USB cable, lack of a flash, lack of apps, the tiny, nonremoveable battery, the fact that headphone usage required an adapter, and (among its fans) lack of marketing push from HP and AT&T.