After receiving $25 million following his termination as the CEO of Hewlett-Packard, it is rumored that Leo Apotheker attempted to invest some of the money in Enron, only to discover that the corporation had imploded. We met Mr. Apotheker at his old office in Palo Alto to find him literally clearing out his desk.
"I kind of liked Enron," Mr. Apotheker told us. "Ken was a bro, you know what I'm saying? I always trusted him even though I had no idea what his company even did!"
Mr. Apotheker was apparently unaware that Enron Corporation had gone bankrupt in 2001, reorganized in 2004, and subsequently liquidated all of its remaining assets.
"No one told me," continued Mr. Apotheker. "I guess I should have read the front page of the Wall Street Journal instead of skipping straight to the film section. I was really into film at the time."
We asked Leo how much money he had intended to invest in the now-defunct corporation.
"Not that much, maybe ten or twenty million dollars. I'm out of work right now, I can't afford to take huge risks! But it's not that big of a deal, right? When you make big investments, if they don't work out, you can just dump 'em. No harm done. It's the beauty of making an investment."
"Speaking of investments, I have a cool $23 million knocking around. I bought a nice big property in this empty neighborhood in Detroit for $2 million the other day. I didn't even have to negotiate; it seemed like the folks that sold it to me were glad to be rid of it! Leo the bargain hunter; that's what my wife calls me! And for good reason!"
"So I was thinking about investing some of the money in Tiger Telematics. I always thought their game console was way ahead of its time, what with its built-in GPS, touchscreen, and MP4 playback. They could even put me on their board of directors! I'd be in it for the long haul. No selling right away, no sir-ee! I'd stick with that company until it was cold and stiff in the ground following some other massive corruption scandal."
At this point, one of Mr. Apotheker's aides tapped his shoulder and whispered into his ear, then hurried out, clutching what appeared to be a resumé.
"Well, shit. I guess Tiger isn't going anywhere either," continued Mr. Apotheker. "Which reminds me, I have to go speak to my secretary. It's been great speaking to you folks."
We thanked Leo for his time and left, snapping a picture of the memo on his desk before hurrying out.
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